"Grindr, that’s like Tinder for gay guys, right?”  This is usually the first question I hear.  My usual, unspoken reaction is something along the lines of, “No, dumbass, Grindr came first.  Tinder is more like a bastardization of Grindr made mostly for straight people.”  My verbal reaction, however, is something along the lines of, “It’s sort of like that, but actually…”

This past summer, I worked in the kitchen of a tavern in Green Mountain Falls, Colo. I desperately needed a job, and although it was far from my home, there was money to be earned. It was probably the most disgusting place I’ve ever worked in my life.

I still have my Kairos necklace. I don’t wear it anymore, like I used to back when I still believed in it. I keep it in a box of old mementos, not as a symbol of a life-changing event, but as a reminder of the lie that it represents.

“Kairos,” derived from the Greek word—wait for it—Kairos, means the right or opportune moment. It is also the title of a very cult-y retreat put on by Jesuit Catholic schools around the nation.